Maxi Dresses...For Real This Time

Updated! Cleaning out the photos on my phone and realized I still had the one of the green dress that started this whole thing. Enjoy! :)

The original blog post, as follows:

After much consideration, I have finally pinpointed what it is about maxi dresses that drives me crazy (Aside from the fact that most people just don't know how to wear them, or what proper fit looks like. But then, isn't that true of most items of clothing?):

I don’t GET it.

I have recently discovered the wonder that is Pandora Radio, and the ads that come up most frequently are for one of those designer discount websites, and lately, what they’ve been showing pictures of more than anything is maxi dresses. My little fashion prodigy (shoutout to livinbohochic.blogspot.com!) and I don’t disagree on much, but maxi dresses are one of the few things that goes on her side of the Venn diagram and not in the overlapping middle. She has two, that I know of, and when she bought the first one, I told her I didn’t hate it, and that “I don’t hate it” was the highest compliment I could give that particular item of clothing. She accepts this about me, and we sort of just agree to disagree about the maxi dress. She looks cute in it, don’t get me wrong. I’m just in general not a fan.

Anyway, so the other day, I’ve got Pandora on at work as usual, and one of those ads comes up on the side, with a maxi dress. An emerald green maxi dress, no less. Emerald green is my color clothing weakness, so if ever a maxi dress were going to win me over, it would have been this one. But I actually liked the dress. It was fitted enough so that it didn’t look like a big sheet, low-cut without being too scandalous, and just overall a fun dress. So naturally, I took a picture on my phone and texted it to Christy, and told her I had finally found a maxi dress I could in good conscience approve of. She loved it too, but sadly they were sold out of the green, and so she sent me a link to another dress she had found. Imagine my surprise when I liked that one too! It had a tie at the waist for shape definition, good color (orange, a fine color as long as it’s not a football Saturday…roll tide…), and just in general a nice looking dress. (Check it out here.)

Two maxi dresses in one day, what is the world coming to?!

That’s when I realized, it’s not (always) the dresses themselves that are the problem. As a matter of fact, that designer discount website has quite a few maxi dresses that I think are pretty cute. They fit well (aside from the obvious, that you can't see any leg under there), they come in fun colors and patterns, and interesting shapes (the green one is actually a convertible dress, so you can wear it 10ish different ways...)…so what’s the problem, you ask? I said it myself while I was texting Christy: I liked that green one because it looked like an evening gown. Which are, by definition, of a similar shape to maxi dresses, with hems down to the floor. Yet, I have no problem with those. I mean really, who doesn’t love a super-glam evening gown? Isn’t that why we all watch the Oscars? What’s the difference?

The difference is that maxi dresses have no practical place in my life. Granted, neither do evening gowns 99.99% of the time, but say I’m going to a black tie event…there. A place in my life. Maxi dresses are (supposedly) a casual item of clothing. So I’m supposed to wear it…running errands? Great, can’t wait to sweep the floor of Wal-Mart with the hem of my dress. At the beach? And cover up more of my skin that won’t get tan? No thank you. Hanging out with friends? I live in Alabama. In the summer, when maxi dresses make their inexplicable appearance, it’s a cool day if the temperature stays below 90. If I’m going to be spending any length of time outdoors, my goal is to wear as little clothing as possible without being arrested for public indecency. So why in the world would I put on a floor length skirt? Exactly, I wouldn’t. It just doesn’t make sense.

So there you have it. I don’t get it. That’s why I don’t like maxi dresses. It just does not compute in my head.

Christy dear, do I hear a rebuttal blog post coming on Livin’ Boho Chic?? ;)