Pajama Jeans

I couldn't think of a clever title for this one. I'm not sure it needs it. What more is there to say about an article of "clothing" called pajama jeans?

I first learned of the existence of this monstrosity last night on a late-night informercial. At first I thought it was supposed to be funny, some kind of gag gift, or maybe a Saturday Night Live skit randomly come to the Hallmark Channel. It didn't even cross my mind that this kind of horrendous garment might be real. But they are. There's a website and everything, where you can see the commercial I saw last night in all its glory. There is just soooo much wrong with pajama jeans, it's hard to know where to begin.

Let's start with that checklist. Stylish, sexy, soft, comfortable. I'll give them the last two (although I can't be certain, as I have--obviously--never had on a pair of pajama jeans), but stylish? Sexy? Yes, they kind of look like denim, if you don't look too closely or squint your eyes or something. But I'm pretty sure no one ever called pajama pants stylish or sexy, no matter the pattern or design of them. Not to mention, these things don't REALLY look like jeans. They don't even have a button!

And speaking of buttons, can you believe that horrible red mark that the button on that girl's jeans supposedly gave her (it's in the commercial, but if you didn't watch, I don't blame you)??? HOW TIGHT would your jeans have to be to do that?? Let's face it, we've all worn some pretty tight jeans, but I have never had on jeans tight enough to leave any kind of mark where the button is, much less one that looks like a welt. Unbelieveable.

Another thing about these pants, is I don't understand where they would be appropriate. I mean, obviously, but think about it. The commercial says they're comfortable enough to wear while exercising. No one from across the gym is going to look at them and think, "Wow, what stylish gym wear!" They're going to think, "Why is that girl working out in jeans?" Then when they get close enough to see that they are in fact not jeans, they're going to think, "That's the dumbest article of clothing I've ever seen." Also, this scenario confuses me, because are they pajamas, or are they sweatpants? Not that it matters, they're awful either way, but I don't think I've ever seen anyone in pajamas at the gym, and pajamas and sweatpants are made out of different fabrics. I guess sweatpants jeans just doesn't have the same ring to it.

So let's go to the opposite scenario. Clearly wearing jeans in a place where one would normally wear pajamas/sweatpants doesn't make any sense, and neither does wearing pajamas where one would normally wear jeans. (People at the grocery store, I'm talking to you!) It doesn't take any longer to put on jeans than it would pajama jeans, but you look a lot better, and no one wonders why you wasted all that money on pajamas. The commercial claims that pajama jeans are a bargain at $39.95, and in the world of real jeans, that's true, $40 isn't a lot for a good pair of jeans. But would you ever pay $40 for a pair of pajama pants? No, probably not. And while $40 jeans are a pretty good deal, it's hardly a pipe dream, or a trip to the thrift store hoping for something with the tag still on. Old Navy's jeans are quality denim, and run about $40 regularly-priced, but they have sales all the time. Gap's are a little pricier, but still, not much. Certainly worth the difference between having real jeans and not. And that's stores that are known for their denim.

Because let's be real, Pajama Jeans are NOT JEANS, they are pajamas, and not even good ones at that. I like my pajama pants to have Care Bears and stuff on them, not make it look like I fell asleep in my clothes. So please, PLEASE, do not waste your money on Pajama Jeans. That's just wrong, on so many levels. If your jeans aren't comfortable, you're probably not wearing the right size. It's no reason to settle for pajamas. I believe there are plenty of garments out there that are stylish, sexy, soft, and comfortable (like everything in my closet; I don't know why people say stylish OR comfortable, like they're mutually exclusive concepts), but Pajama Jeans are not one of them.

I do agree with one thing on the Pajama Jeans website. Shocking, I know. Part of their slogan says, "Just because you're busy doesn't mean you can't look sharp!" And although they are mistaken in thinking pajama jeans are the solution to a busy lifestyle (the rest of it says, "Put your best self out there and wear your PajamaJeans®!"), they're right about the first part. In fact, I kind of think that's a statement against the Pajama Jeans. In other words, just because you're busy doesn't mean you have to run around town in pajamas. So please don't do it. The rest of us who took time to get ready this morning thank you in advance.

Hopefully none of you got Pajama Jeans for Christmas, and if you did, I hope they do refunds, and not just store credit! :) Hope everyone had a very merry Christmas and is enjoying the rest of the holiday season!